What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
