D3 body, D1 cock
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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