He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
