The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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