Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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