...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
