The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
