if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
