i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
