I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
