We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
