i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
