Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
