I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
