i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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