She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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