He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
