I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
