would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she woke up with a sticky ear
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
