I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
