So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
