What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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