What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
