you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I sprained my soul last night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
