I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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