You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
