My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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