Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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