he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He better not be in your backpack
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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