Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I supernannyed him into submission
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
