Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
