Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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