well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
