on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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