I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
