you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
