Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
