apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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