It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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