What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
why is half of my head shaved?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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