Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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