I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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