I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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