you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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