Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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