Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
do herpes really smell.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
