i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
