If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize