put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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