i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
