It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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