I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
