shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
