There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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