I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
