I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
