Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
