just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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