We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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