pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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