Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
